log fourteen

I live just to live.

I discovered upon myself that the reason I cannot begin to find some driving factor for betterment is because I have reached what I subconsciously consider to be my own peak. I don’t feel any need to accomplish something bigger with my life because the only thing I desire to escape is apathy, a concept that to it there is no cure yielded, and not some greater effect like discomfort or trauma.

I do not mind this existence, but part of me yearns to join a grandiose cause while the rest of my being tears itself down to pull this miniscule part away from such a notion. This battle is one of the only in which I spit blood. Apathy, arguably, is no more than a overwhelming sense of peace. It is a precious luxury.